When You Hit a Wall (or the Weeds)

There’s a point in the editing process where finishing a book starts to feel strangely harder than writing one.

I think I’ve hit it.

I love this story. I love Emmy and her sisters. I love Tea & Thread and Cornell Plains and all the complicated, beautiful threads woven through this book. But right now, I’m tired of looking at it. Tired of trying to remember what changes I’ve made or ones I have yet to.

And I’ve found myself caught between two fears:

What if I keep editing so long that I never release it?

And—

What if I release it because I’m tired of editing and know it could have been better?

That second one is the one I can’t quite get over.

There is a difference between perfectionism and stewardship. I don’t believe a book has to be flawless before it goes into the world. I know it won’t be. There will definitely be be a sentence I would rewrite six months later or a scene I wish I had approached differently. But I also don't want impatience to make the decision for me.

I don't want to publish Sewn in Grace simply because I am ready to be finished with Sewn in Grace. So today I'm reminding myself that editing isn't proof that the story failed. It means I'm still fighting for it.

I'm fighting for Emmy to sound like Emmy. For each sister to feel fully herself. For the tension to land where it should. For readers to disappear into Cornell Plains instead of noticing the scaffolding I used to build it.

And maybe that means the release takes a little longer. It won’t be forever. And I’m praying that it won’t be when every single sentence I’ve poured over feels uneditable. But just long enough that when I finally press publish, I can say:

This is the story I meant to tell.

So I'm going back in, one chapter, one scene, one stubborn little thread at a time.

Pray for me. I’m in the WEEDS.